its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
