Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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