You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
