Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Awesome. Ask her out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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  (224): Awesome. Ask her out. (815): Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her. http://tfl.nu/pquv
  Replies (14) Good night (613) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

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  (925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes. http://tfl.nu/3pwk
  Replies (13) Good night (5648) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off

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  (215): you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off http://tfl.nu/9bti
  Replies (86) Good night (1426) Bad night (10426)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???

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  (951): better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life??? http://tfl.nu/fjyx
  Replies (14) Good night (6049) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents

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  (843): I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents http://tfl.nu/wxlb
  Replies (46) Good night (8920) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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  (636): trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites. http://tfl.nu/811n
  Replies (10) Good night (4919) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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  (417): I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka (479): I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once http://tfl.nu/xq51
  Replies (10) Good night (6014) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express

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  (479): there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express http://tfl.nu/hlsi
  Replies (3) Good night (3192) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2401) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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  (313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n
  Replies (6) Good night (3196) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.

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  (214): Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uk4u
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Restraining order pending?

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  (334): She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper (205): Restraining order pending? http://tfl.nu/xpcn
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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  (717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi
  Replies (11) Good night (2178) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1274) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car

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  (803): Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car http://tfl.nu/8fhk
  Replies (6) Good night (1103) Bad night (487)

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