Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.

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  (412): Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color. http://tfl.nu/uexv
  Replies (20) Good night (1582) Bad night (2972)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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  (919): DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages. http://tfl.nu/6cym
  Replies (16) Good night (3169) Bad night (853)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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  (360): She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt. http://tfl.nu/1my8
  Replies (20) Good night (1502) Bad night (2990)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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  (778): yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet... http://tfl.nu/488j
  Replies (29) Good night (3487) Bad night (1636)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (8028) Bad night (915)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5422) Bad night (1340)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well

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  (318): Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well http://tfl.nu/57uf
  Replies (8) Good night (877) Bad night (2918)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

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  (915): I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something. http://tfl.nu/u0v6
  Replies (5) Good night (3207) Bad night (963)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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  (205): This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/uwhu
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (2097)
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  (559): View more from California

  she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.

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  (559): she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer. http://tfl.nu/y0m8
  Replies (8) Good night (972) Bad night (2084)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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  (802): I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel. http://tfl.nu/xk67
  Replies (11) Good night (2090) Bad night (685)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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  (567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1610) Bad night (560)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO

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  (973): DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO http://tfl.nu/pqah
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (850)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.

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  (570): You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys. http://tfl.nu/l3j3
  Replies (5) Good night (610) Bad night (626)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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  (225): A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening. (225): 2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD. http://tfl.nu/o2xa
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (267)

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