Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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(425): Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility. http://tfl.nu/j5r5

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(620): View more from Kansas

Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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(620): Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair? http://tfl.nu/bhha

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(917): View more from New York City

It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.

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(917): It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay. http://tfl.nu/aq98

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(847): View more from Illinois

then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order

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(847): then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order http://tfl.nu/len1

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.

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(570): You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians. http://tfl.nu/d2bn

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(315): View more from New York

And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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(315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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(651): That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish. http://tfl.nu/pnvl

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.

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(778): I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk. http://tfl.nu/sd2y

Replies (10) Good night (3330) Bad night (741)
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(850): View more from Florida

Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager

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(850): Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager http://tfl.nu/6wri

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(646): View more from New York

Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.

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(646): Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around. http://tfl.nu/mt6p

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(518): View more from New York

Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.

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(518): Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg. http://tfl.nu/k1xd

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(970): View more from Colorado

Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

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(970): Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine. http://tfl.nu/g50l

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(541): View more from Oregon

Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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(541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b

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(760): View more from California

Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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(760): Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver http://tfl.nu/ovu0

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(513): View more from Ohio

Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?

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(513): Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed? http://tfl.nu/wl2q

Replies (5) Good night (1105) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt

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