So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
