Where did you get a picture of my penis
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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