I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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