tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize