I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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