My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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