i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
