My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
