Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
