i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
