last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
