3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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