Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just invented taco cereal.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
