whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
