guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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