No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize