so that wasnt chicken after all
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Holy sore nipples Batman
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
