OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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