omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
