Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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