:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
this hospital has no fireball
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
