Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
