after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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