She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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