Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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