A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
