I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
