As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..