East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
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Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU