i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house