Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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