We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
