I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Girls should come with a carfax report
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
