I heard we made out
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
