Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
