saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
