Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
