none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
