I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
