she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
