I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
