i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
