Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
