so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize