The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
this will be a night to untag.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize