Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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