Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
