Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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