And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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