Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she woke up with a sticky ear
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
