The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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