he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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