Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
